Dreams vs Reality
Talk face to face 20 minutes a day
Daily couch time
Apart from everything else in your day, set aside 20 mins for the two of you to talk face-to-face; to laugh together, to complain about stuff at work….to just catch up.
The power of this is only experienced when it becomes a daily habit. That’s right, you and your spouse talk face-to-face for 20 minutes a day. It’s that simple. Easy to do…..easy not to do.
Communication builds connection
At first, your daily conversations may be simply about what went on during your day. You might even time the conversation to make sure they aren’t longer than 20 minutes 🙂
But as you build the habit of a daily catch-up, your conversations will deepen into discussions about past experiences, your hopes and dreams, and what is stressing you out. You will build a closer connection and intimacy.
Tips to help your conversations
- Decide together to make your 20 minute conversation happen
- Be interested rather than trying to be interesting
- Ask questions more than you make statements
- Be endlessly curious about each other's lives
Remember...you are very likely to make your spouse feel deeply cared for if you make a habit of doing these small things.
Your Date Night
Instructions
Agree on a time you can both meet when you won’t get distracted by children, or work, or anything else. You might choose to lie on your bed, go for a walk, or a drive, or visit a cafe.
Take turns to speak, and to listen. Listen with open hearts. Try not to interrupt, or judge, or criticise. Listen with the other person in mind, seeking not necessarily to agree, but to understand where they’re coming from.
Remember, you have permission to have fun too!
Ask each other the following questions
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you most like to go?
- If you could meet anyone alive or dead, who would you most like to meet? Why?
- What skill or attribute would you like to develop and how can I best help you achieve it?
- What is your main challenge at work right now? Is there anything I can do to help you solve it?
For him
to ask her
What could I do (or stop doing) to make you feel more loved?
For her
to ask him
What could I do (or stop doing) to make you feel more respected?
If you want to
go deeper
Close by praying for one another. Thank God for the gift of having each other and ask for wisdom to continue to grow together in oneness.
Your turn to make a great marriage happen!
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