DATE NIGHT - 7 Second Kiss
The smallest things make the biggest difference
Why not integrate a 7-second kiss into our everyday married lives. Yep, seven whole seconds. 7 seconds before you leave in the morning. And again a seven-second kiss when you greet each other at night.
By the way, there’s a scientific reason why it has to be seven seconds long. Apparently, that’s when Oxytocin, otherwise known as the love hormone, is released.
So, take up the challenge: Have you had your 7-second kiss today?
Your DATE NIGHT - Romantic Inventory
Instructions:
Agree on a time you can both meet when you won’t get distracted by children, or work, or anything else. You might choose to lie on your bed, go for a walk, or a drive, or sit at a cafe.
Take it in turns to speak, and to listen. Listen with open hearts. Try not to interrupt, or judge, or criticise. Listen with the other person in mind, seeking not necessarily to agree, but to understand where they’re coming from. Remember, you have permission to have fun too!
Take it in turns to complete the following statements:
- I would describe romance as ________.
- Right now, the following obstacles block our way to making romance a priority: ________.
- The 3 most romantic things you do for me are ________.
- I would like you to do more of these romantic things in the future: ________.
- In leading up to lovemaking, I like you to ________.
- When we are making love, I like you to ________.
- I struggle with the following fears or issues regarding sex: ________.
- Concerning lovemaking, I’ve always wanted to tell you ________.
Your DATE NIGHT - Boosting Sexual Intimacy
Instructions:
Take it in turns to discuss whether or not the following activities help ignite the flame of romance in you.
Activities:
- Chocolate
- Dancing
- Flowers
- Neck rub
- Backrub
- Bubble bath
- Nice Lingerie
- Seeing you in lingerie
- Love notes
- Eating-out
- Sports time with you
- Walks
- Movies
- Picnics
- Touch
- Gifts
- Praise
- Appreciation
- Time
- Showering together
- Other
Instructions:
Use the following statements to rate various aspects of your sexual relationship.
Rate from 1 to 5 (5 = high, 1 = low).
Dialogue around each other’s answers in a positive way. Listen and learn. Do not judge.
Statements:
- We view lovemaking with positive anticipation
- We have no trouble deciding when and how to enjoy physical love together
- We both communicate during lovemaking by telling each other what we find pleasing
- We make love often enough
- Gentleness and tenderness are a normal part of our lovemaking
- We have enough variety in our lovemaking
- We both sufficiently understand each other’s sexual needs and preferences
Your turn to make a great marriage happen
More resources for Your Marriage
Find an Event
Give your marriage the lift it deserves by attending a FamilyLife event
Video Series
Watch our FamilyLife NZ free video series in the comfort of your own home
Articles
Read helpful relationship articles that will inspire and equip your marriage
