How to disagree agreeably
Over 28 years of marriage Andy and I often found ourselves disagreeing on various topics in our relationship. And when we did disagree, I never liked it. However, Andy would constantly remind me “if we always thought the same then what’s the point of one of us being here”. I found that a useful statement […]
Don’t divorce just yet
Have you been tempted to give up your marriage this year? I’ve talked to many who have, so you aren’t alone. 2020 has been the year of social distancing. However, before you choose to permanently ‘social distance’ from your partner, can I encourage you to read this article and consider whether there’s more you can […]
The Blame Game
I just love Brene´ Brown. If you haven’t come across any of her material I want to encourage you to check her out. Her first TED Talk entitled The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world, with over 25 million viewers. Recently, I came across her […]
Before you give up your marriage
This week, here in New Zealand, we’re celebrating a return to Level one. Apart from not leaving the country, life is permitted to return to normal. However, what if you’re now in a place where you don’t want to return to ‘normal’, what if you want to give up your marriage – now what? Divorce […]
Before you consider Divorce
Dr John Gottman has undertaken 30 years of research studying relationships. He says, “One of the saddest reasons a marriage dies is that neither spouse recognises its value until it’s too late. Only after the papers are signed, and household effects divided, do the Exes realise how much they actually gave up when they gave […]
How to communicate in a way that truly connects
Ever since I can remember, I’ve loved to write, to listen to stories and to capture them on paper. I lived a lot in my head, as I imagined the lives of fictitious characters and got caught up in their adventures and emotions. Because of that, I thought that I’d naturally be good at communication […]
Now’s the time to get a new relationship
You may be thinking “Did I hear you right?” Or “What planet are you on right now? We are in lockdown and you’re suggesting I get a new relationship?” Yes, you are hearing me right, and yes, I am still here on planet earth, fully aware of what is currently happening with Covid-19. We are […]
Our Open Door Policy for Communication
The house I grew up in had an unwritten and unspoken rule; we leave the doors open. This open-door policy was never directly enforced but our personal bedrooms were never shut off from the rest of the house. It was so normal that I never gave any thought to it until I left home and […]
The secret to happiness
A couple of years ago there was an article in the Sunday Star Times headlined “What’s the secret to happiness ?” It caught my eye because everyone wants to know that answer, don’t they? After surveying 8500 teens, Auckland University researchers believe they found the answer. What do you think the answer was? It wasn’t […]
Show the love this Valentine’s Day
It’s Valentine’s Day today. This morning I thought I could offer you 5 ideas to show love to your partner. I have to say that these are not all my ideas – many of them I have borrowed from people who have been to our FamilyLife couples retreats, but I have tried some of them […]