In my final year of high school, I got into the hobby of photography. A friend and I took a week-long trip to go camping and hiking in the mountains and we had our cameras and tripods ready to capture some awesome images. There are a lot of great shots we took on that trip, but I find it fascinating how often I’m drawn to a body of water when I have my camera in hand.
When you’re in the mountains, any body of water, whether it be a lake or simply a puddle, becomes a mirror. If you take a picture of the mountain with a body of water in the foreground it creates this beautiful copy of the scenery. If you frame it just right and you manage to capture it on a wind-still day, the mountains and the reflection become almost too hard to distinguish.
If you’re into photography, I’m sure you’ve attempted this type of photo. Even if you’re not, I’m sure you’ve seen one of these beautiful reflection images before. I think God is into photography as well.
He created man and woman as two distinctly different humans (male and female) so that together they would reflect His image. Marriage is the camera God uses to capture this image. God’s dream for marriage is that 2 people who are created in His image will reflect His love, nature, and character to the world.
Marriage oneness can be described as this picture of a body of water reflecting the mountain ranges in a way that is indistinguishable from the real thing. When a man and woman pursue oneness in their relationship, they reflect the love, character, and nature of God to the world.
Marriage oneness is two lives weaving together and becoming one. It is the blueprint of marriage. It is God’s design for how a man and a woman are to join their lives together and it is also the “happily ever after” we dream about when we say our “I do’s”. More than this, we read in the Bible that there’s a greater mystery behind marriage oneness.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church.” [Eph 5:31-32]
Marriage is more significant than you may think. Some people get married because they think it will be a cure for their loneliness. Others get married because they want kids. A more appropriate reason for marriage is when you believe marriage is an illustration of God’s design for how HE wants to be with the world. It’s His redemption plan.
God has a dream for humanity. He also has a dream for your marriage (if you’re married and reading this). A dream without a plan is just a wish. God’s dream for marriage included a plan and the earliest reference we have about the dream for marriage is right in the opening chapter of the Bible.
This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. [Gen 2:24]
God’s dream for marriage and His plan for oneness involves three responsibilities:
- Leave father and mother
- Be joined together
- Be united as one
Keep the love alive!
If you’re a Christian reading this, it may be easy to glance over those 3 responsibilities as something you’ve heard before without truly paying attention. So let me introduce these 3 responsibilities for you using some different words:
- Priority (leave)
- Permanence (joined together)
- Passion (united as one)
1. Priority
Leaving your father and mother’s house involves making your spouse the priority. How many marriages today suffer because couples have failed to truly “leave” their old lives and make their marriage a priority? Some marriages suffer when kids are made a priority above the marriage. Sure, I’m responsible for raising my kids, but I made my vows to my wife, not my kids. The best gift we can give our kids is to have a flourishing relationship, and we won’t be able to achieve this if we do not prioritise our oneness above any other relationship.
2. Permanence
The second responsibility is to recognise the permanence of our relationship. It’s within the safety and security of this “for-life-commitment” that both my wife and I get to grow into the best version of ourselves. It’s within the safety of this covenant (promise) for life that we get to heal from the wounds of the past, and it’s within the safety of this permanence mindset that we create a stable home for our kids.
3. Passion
The third responsibility of marriage involves God’s gift of sex. Sex in marriage is a lot like a fire in a fireplace creating a warm environment for our home. It’s not a dirty word Christians need to avoid, rather it’s God’s gift to be enjoyed within the confines of a marriage relationship – like the fire in the fireplace. Now, if I walk into my living room and there’s a fire on the carpet, that’s a problem. In the same way, sex is only destructive to us when engaged outside of marriage.
This third “p”, passion, will flourish in your marriage if the building blocks of priority and permanence are established. If you’re struggling in this area, know that there is hope for you if you can take care of the first two responsibilities.
God’s dream for marriage is this secure relationship between two people actively pursuing oneness with each other. In doing this, we also get to reflect who He is to the world.
If the waters of your marriage have not reflected God’s image to the world due to the storms of life, then perhaps it’s time to look at His master plan of establishing priority, permanence and passion in your relationship.
A final note for you today is to remember that God’s dream for marriage has some opposition. There’s a real enemy who does not want you to succeed. Your marriage is not taking place on a romantic balcony, but rather on a spiritual battlefield. The next time you feel your marriage oneness drifting, remember your spouse is NOT your enemy.
May you experience marriage oneness the way God designed it. May your marriage be a reflection of His image, and may God be able to boast to the world about His masterpiece – you!
This article was originally written for Manna Christian Stores’ community site.
